Bragging Rights
by ReginaCaelum
Summary: AU / Ichigo walks in on every big brother's worst nightmare: his little sister about to "get it on" with her boyfriend. And then she BLACKMAILS him? What IS this? CITRUS TouRin one-shot


**Disclaimer: disclaimed**

I don't even know. Seriously. Perhaps Toushirou's sexiness is just getting out of control? Yup, I think that's it.

* * *

><p>When Toushirou told his roommate that by ten dinner would be over and Ichigo could back, he had meant it. Since their anniversary was on a weeknight and Karin was already stressing about finishing her dissertation, the unspoken agreement had been to have Toushirou, romantic that he was, make his girlfriend of two years dinner in his own apartment (Karin was notoriously great at organizing everything but her living space).<p>

Everything was perfect—the noodles were tender, the spring rolls were flavored just right, Karin looked fabulous in her dress and was more relaxed with every sip of wine—until Toushirou realized it was 9:54.

And, well, Karin was currently trying to unbutton his shirt as hastily as possible with her tongue currently exploring her boyfriend's mouth.

Honestly, he didn't even remember how they go to the kitchen. One minute the couple was enjoying Toushirou's homemade spring rolls, and the next they were practically biting each others' lips off and pulling at their clothing on the island. Karin was bent half-backwards and standing on her toes and she _finally _unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it away. With a delighted moan she began running her hands up and down the hard, smooth planes of his chest, making Toushirou groan in response. He could feel the smile on her lips and pulled her hairtie out, sending her black locks cascading down her practically-bare shoulders in waves. She rubbed on thigh against his invitingly, and he immediately tugged her legs up, making sure to squeeze her ass hard as he did so. This happened to make it much easier for him to fumble with the zipper on the back of her dress. Karin ran her tongue along his lower lip and tightened her legs around his waist. As he finished yanking the zipper down, her back was exposed to the cool air and now the white-haired man faced the second challenge of his girlfriend's bra strap. As his fingers ran along her back and the underside of her breasts, Karin moaned and instinctually thrust her hips forward.

The sound she got from him was delightful, but the layers of clothing between them were not disappearing nearly fast enough and as one of his hands disappeared from her back to start sliding up her short skirt, the fire curdling in her stomach got a lot hotter. Toushirou touched her right where her legs disappeared into her panties but immediately moved onto another patch of skin, leaving her skin tingling. She was embarrassed to hear a whimpering sound coming out of her mouth, and the smirk on Toushirou's delicious lips let her know that it wasn't as quiet as she'd hoped. Unwrapping her legs and standing on her toes (well, really more leaning into him, because her legs felt like jelly) she walked them backwards until they hit the counter, making sure she repeated her movement from earlier. When they hit the counter gently, Toushirou atomically sat on the granity, and Karin saw her opportunity. She pushed on his bare chest and when her boyfriend lay back, quickly straddled him. Pausing briefly from their heated kiss to smirk at him, she savored the view: Toushirou was exceptionally whiny about letting her be on top. His dazzling eyes opened halfway to gaze at her lustily and his lips curved upward. With a hum of contentment, Karin leaned down again until her breasts brushed his chest and planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Licking at his lip, she planted another one, this time a little further down, and began trailing her lips down his neck. Before long, she found a familiar spot and latched onto it, soft tongue sweeping across the tanned, velvety skin.

Meanwhile, Toushirou had just been about to remind Karin that her _brother _was going to walk in and _maybe _they should move to her car or his car or hell, even the floor might be better, but then she started doing _that _and all rational thoughts went out the window. He stroked her skin with gentle fingers over her back and once again began struggling with her bra strap while rubbing her legs all over. He finally released the clasp and was about to pull her dress off, but he hesitated as Karin dragged her nails down his chest—

"Oh. My. God."

Two heads whipped to the right so fast they almost got whiplash. Karin's face was flushed, her hair disheveled, and she was still straddling her boyfriend. And Toushirou, normally so composed, had his version of a deer-in-the-headlights face: green eyes wide but face blank, and his hands stilled on his girlfriend's body.

"Oh my _God." _

Karin's dark hair covered most of Toushirou's bare chest, but his pants were unzipped and her dress was pushed up almost to her waist with the zipper was undone, revealing an unclipped bra. Neither of them moved, both still panting softly.

"OH. MY. GOD."

Ichigo stood in front of the door in a comically frozen position, looking like he was about to be physically ill. His brown eyes were wider than Karin had ever seen them and his mouth kept opening and closing silently, except to summon the thrice-said phrase. The three graduate students remained perfectly still for almost a minute before Karin made as if to move and her brother had a spazz attack.

"PUT ON SOME DAMN CLOTHES," he commanded, turning to stare at the opposite corner of the wall as if it had developed something interesting. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU."

Karin sighed and stood up, hands immediately going to her hair as if she could tame it. "It's our _anniversary—" _

The redhead glanced at them accusingly, but seeing his sister (_baby _sister) tugging her skirt down, he hastily returned his gaze to the wall. "It is _ten-oh-seven, _Karin. Toushirou here," he pivoted the opposite way to glare at the impassive white-haired man, "Said you would be done by _ten_. I gave you _seven freaking minutes_."

"Which was obviously not _enough_," she snarled back, holding her hair up so that her boyfriend could zip her dress up. When she felt her bra being snapped again she didn't acknowledge it but he didn't take it as an insult, well-adjusted to Karin's habit of passing embarrassment off as irritation. "God, you act like I'm still a _child." _

"You're my _sister!" _Ichigo yelled, "I'm supposed to _protect _you from guys who are planning to do—" he faltered and flailed uncomfortably, "—_that _kind of stuff to you!"

Karin's face went blank for a moment before she smirked broadly. Toushirou walked over to the island to grab his shirt, quietly sighing. "'_That _kind of stuff,' Ichigo?" He winced, knowing that she'd only not use "Ichi-nii" if she was _really _pissed. "What are you, two? Are you not okay with using the word—"

"Don't say it," warned her brother, looking panicked; Karin pounced like a cat on prey.

"SEX, Ichigo. We were going to have SEX," she bellowed, "Don't act like you've never had it before!" At his flustered sputtering the dark-haired woman plowed on, "I've _heard _you before, you hypocrite! It was _disgusting! _But did I ever complain? NO."

The two Kurosakis had a stare-off as Toushirou finished buttoning his shirt and ran his hands through his messy hair. Finally Ichigo stuck his chin out and tore his eyes away from Karin's to stare forlornly at the counter where previously there had been naked skin. "That's where I put my food_," _he whined childishly.

Karin set her jaw, but as a mischievous light came into her eyes a grin spread slowly across her face. Toushirou watched with trepidation; her brother watched with terror. "Ichigo," she said sweetly, "Do you remember when you had that party? The one where you got very drunk and did some things you'd rather not remember with Momo?"

Toushirou choked on air. "_What?" _

The elder Kurosaki visibly flinched. "No," he said, very unbelievingly.

"_Momo?" _the other man in the room attempted to clarify. "_My _sister Momo?"

"My camera does," Karin continued with tantalizing charm, "And so will your girlfriend if you don't _back off." _Ichigo hesitated, but the look on his sister's face was dead serious.

Finally, his shoulders sagged and he slunk out of the room, still muttering about having to bleach the kitchen.

Recognizing a win when she saw one, Karin huffed. Toushirou wrapped his arms around her, and she sank into his hug sulkily. "I am _not _a child," she muttered rebelliously.

He responded, "I know you're not."

"Glad someone does."

Chuckling, he nudged his forehead with her own. "You're also mad we didn't get to finish."

Her lips turned up at the corners. "Maybe a little bit."

Toushirou lowered his lips to hers and gently rubbed her tongue with his own. "Make it up to you this weekend?" he asked huskily as he kissed lightly down her neck.

"You…better…" Karin managed to respond, thoughts incoherent as his nipped at her neck.

"STOP NOW," Ichigo yelled. Toushirou pulled away with a groan and Karin closed her eyes as if deliberating whether she should do something she'd most likely regret.

"GO TO HELL," she snapped. When she turned back to her boyfriend, her voice was much kinder. "We can finish this," she murmured sexily, tracing a finger down his chest, "later." Then she gave him a quick peck and was out the door, calling behind her, "Thanks for dinner!"

Toushirou waved goodbye and waited until she had pulled out of the driveway before marching to Ichigo's room. When the older man opened his door grudgingly, he said, "Now, what's this about Momo?"

* * *

><p>Obviously, I have been far too single for far too long. And between that and insomnia, you kiddies get this little baby. I've never written anything this...ahem, <em>heavy <em>before, so feedback would be appreciated. I actually promised my friend I'd write her a lemon for her birthday, SO feedback would be MORE than appreciated.

I heart big brother protectiveness. Being an oldest child sucks.

Anyway, it's eleven here and I'm super duper sleepy, so I'm out. Expect a few new stories (mostly modern-day TouRin AUs) in the next few weeks.

Please review!


End file.
